When I was in elementary school, my school used a few hours to get us briefly acquainted with the D.A.R.E. program. If you don’t know what this happens to be, click here (Aunt Becky cracks me up AND does a thorough job of explaining what the program is). However, some key differences between my school and hers is that we didn’t get the magical box, we didn’t get to learn about anything but the cons of tobacco and alcohol use (probably because the drugs topic was not “kid-safe” enough for us 2nd? graders), and we got free pencils – which for underprivileged kiddies wasn’t such a bad deal.
What I remember out of this experience is learning that smoking is bad for you O_O (No way! *sarcasm* Ahh, what a little naive child I was back then…). Pretty much, the cop scared me into thinking that all smokers get lung cancer in a few years and drop dead like a bunch of flies. Since my dad was a smoker, I was – understandably – scared for him. When I got home, I asked him to stop smoking.
I never saw him smoking again.
However, as the years slowly passed by, I noticed a few inconsistencies: He had a lighter with him almost everywhere (aka his car and the little drawer that is the only thing that is “solely his” in the house thanks to a matriarchal family), and (mostly) empty cigarette boxes popped up in “his areas” (the car + drawer) once in a few years (Wow I am a nosy child >o<). He also smelled of cigarette smoke almost every night I saw him.
The lighter and smell could easily be explained – his coworkers all smoke and the customers for his company do as well – but the boxes are what triggered this suspicion that’s been growing all these years.
I do acknowledge the fact that he has never lied to me (Santa Claus doesn’t count). If he has, he hasn’t been caught yet. He’s only broken one or two promises, which is more than I can say for my mother. I know I can just ask him point-blank and I’ll receive a “Yes” or a “No”, but I’m afraid to ask him because truthfully, I don’t want to know the answer. Whichever answer I get, something’s going to change.
Yes – Trust dies. My suspicions were right.
No – Not only am I not sure if my suspicions will even be laid to rest, but he’ll think that I don’t trust him. </3 for both of us XoX
I guess I’ll just have to deal with it and pray that his cause of death be 40+ years in the future and not cancer based… >.< Right?